u.p. education is the best. without a doubt. i’ve always dreamt of studying here.

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people used to think i was a precocious child.  i used to think that i was only smart.  back in elementary, and as early as age 6, i already knew that i wanted to be a doctor.  as early as age 10, i already wanted to study in u.p.  none of those things have changed for the longest time.  back in high school, nobody thought i was as precocious as i used to be.  that was okay.  i still held on to the belief that i was smart.

when i passed the upcat, that belief was reinforced.  it was a dream come true and i was on my way towards fulfilling my dreams of becoming a doctor.

when i started going to classes, i felt that i wasn’t smart anymore.  i was only average… because everyone else was a genius.

when i failed more than 2 of my subjects, i was no longer average…

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i have now been demoted to the intellectual status of ‘moron.’  thank you very much. [bow.]

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being a u.p. student is a gift.  a privilege.  but while you pride yourself with the fact that you’re an ‘iskolar ng bayan,’ you have subconsciously loaded a revolver and put it against your temple.  it does not kill you, though…  even if you’ve sometimes wished it had.

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sometimes the thought of committing suicide [translation: dropping out] appeals to me.  you hear news here and there of celebrities and pop stars who were u.p. dropouts but are now making millions. come to think of it, they’re doing pretty well. ely buendia and the rest of e-heads were [as i've heard] u.p. dropouts. 

even jolina was a u.p. dropout.  god help it.

anyway, dropping out is the easy way out.  you can always transfer to other schools/universities which would be more than willing to take you in. kaysa naman isuka ka na nang u.p. dahil ‘di ka makatapus-tapos. i wouldn’t want that to happen to me.

but i guess, what’s wrong with dropping out is the fact that you’ve given up on a dream.  i busted my ass just to get here.  and am i going to let mrr [maximum residency rule] burn all my aspirations to dust?  hell, no!  i’m staying! 

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even if it breaks my heart to know that i’m being left behind by former batchmates and friends, i just console and tell myself that it’d all pass and that i’d soon graduate.

6 years of nursing school. wow.

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when i graduate, i’m going to hug every professor i meet and i am going to kiss the hallowed grounds of upcn! i’m serious; i will!  if you happen to pass by the julita v sotejo hall in pedro gil some time in march or april 2007, and if you see a nimrod kissing the ground, that’s most probably me.

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i guess, dropping out is an option.  but not at the moment.  in any case, what am i gon’ do for a living if i drop out?  i don’t have a band.  and i certainly don’t have plans for a showbiz career.  i’ll leave the dropping out to the talented people. 

it’s not for me.