Dec
02

i’m afraid i just don’t care.

Filed Under (articlets, dear diary..., graveyard shift blues.) by fueledbymaruchanramen on 02-12-2008

 

I’ve hit rock bottom. I guess this is how it feels knowing that you’re at a dead end. No progress. No growth. No fulfillment. Nothing accomplished.

You get paid, yes. But that’s not the point.

Going in, you prioritize job satisfaction over high salary. You get blinded by the bucks they wave at your face to get you going but after a while, you realize that the moment you start going after that bait, you’ve been corrupted.

The high salary is an illusion. A mirage. A false oasis. If you see beyond that, there’s only sand or an endless barren expanse. Maybe even a cliff. Or — if you’re downright nihilistic — an abyss.

I hate my job. Easy enough to say.

But it’s hard to deal with. Especially if it’s the only means of sustenance or the only lifeline you’ve got.

You don’t need it to survive. (’Coz as they all say: “all we need is love.” Right.)

But you just got to keep it because people depend on you to keep it.

That’s even harder to deal with.

But I love the people who depend on me. Cross my heart and hope to god that I die. No question about that.

Even with that in mind though, I STILL hate my job.

And that’s the worst feeling of all: knowing that you hate (nay, abhor) something and you just can’t get away from it.

Going out, you will still prioritize job satisfaction over high salary. But you’ll be missing something…

Oh yeah, you’ll be leaving your enthusiasm and “zest” (god, I just had to use that term) for life in the dark, cold, remote corner you used to call your work station/cubicle.

Not that there’s any of it left anyway.

 



1 Comment So Far

fadetosilencever2 on 10 December, 2008 at 4:05 am #
    

burn out eh?